I can still remember the time when I begged for love

I lost my colors. I settled for the "maybe", the "I'll see if I can" and the "I'm tired". I endured the pain of every no, and over time I started to believe that maybe, just maybe, that's what I deserve. That I should just be grateful for the rare "yes" and just sit in the corner waiting. 

It took some time, but when I finally realized that I'm slowly turning into this broken soul I always feared to be, I tried my best to get up and walk away. Step by step, I dragged my feet, and that's when I learned that one of the most difficult things to do in life is to walk away from things that you've always wanted. But I did it. 

I did it because every day seemed like it's raining and I wanted to see the sun again. I did it for the days when I would laugh so hard my stomach would hurt. I did it because I wanted to believe that despite the messed up person that I am, despite all the scars and the holes in my chest, I deserve another shot at happiness.

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